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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

13.06.2025 09:09

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By taking turns talking.

You hold the door open for a lady and she stops in her tracks and screams at you, ‘Don’t hold the door for me! I’ll get it myself!’ What are your feelings or immediate reaction?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

What's an underrated/unknown novel or series that you think deserves more attention?

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.